I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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