If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
