talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
