i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
