I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
