I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
