I think I died a long time ago.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You took a bar mat shot.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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