I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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