Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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