i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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