nut hugger
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
