i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
