I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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