shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
