wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
