Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
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I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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