We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
