Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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