Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
