..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
