Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
