oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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