This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
nutella sex= disaster
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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