worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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