no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
