If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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