I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize