I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize