I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
