the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
