She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
