What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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