Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
