you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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