I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
