Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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