Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i love accidental penises.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
