worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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