My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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