if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
