I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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