ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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