Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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