So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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