he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
