Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
