it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
