On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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