i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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