you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
