Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize