I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
