Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
