i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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