i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
