You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
