woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
