theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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