Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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